One day from 26.
One day I’ll get tired of you not appreciating my creativity and passion for music. That’ll be the day that somebody else will. Something tells me you won’t regret it though.
Blah blah blah, and a cherry on top.
We’re trying. We’re really trying. But sometimes I wonder if it’s enough. Reading back on my entries, I sound so pathetic, lmao. 2013, here I come.
No rest for the wicked.
Hold ground and weather.
That's a wrap.
I need someone who’ll be on my side when times get rough, not someone who’s always on the opposing team.
I can't even...
What has this relationship come to when I can’t even ask my own girlfriend a favor without getting an attitude in return? I’ve spent the last few years trying my best to give her all my attention and get her everything she wants, but it looks like that backfired. Now when I don’t get her the things she desires and the attention she craves for, I get the cold shoulder and an...
It’s hard. More tears will be shed. It just means we loved each other so much. It means I loved you so much. But like I promised ages ago, we will be okay. I will be okay. You will be okay.
Your sister WOULD like the picture you took showing you took down all of our stuff. I’m not disputing the fact that it’s a really good photo, but it just shows how much she was anti-us. She never liked any of the other photos we’ve had together that you or I posted on Facebook. Be strong. There’s no turning back now, ok? I don’t agree with your sister 99% of the...
You and I
You and I both know we deserve better. It’s tough to let go of 6 years, believe me I’m really depressed about it, but as much as I deserve a girl who accepts me for who I am (the people who I interact with included), you deserve a guy who is more romantic and more fitted to your personality than I am. We’re like two peas from two different pods… we tried to make it fit and...
The Straw that broke the Camel's Back.
Stop comparing yourself to her. If you’re going to skew everything I say in regards to her, you can bet your bottom dollar that I won’t answer your questions about her next time you ask. Don’t give me bullshit about “avoiding the subject of her” because quite frankly, I tried to explain everything a long while ago and I’m tired of hearing your comparisons...
This is probably it.
I’m sorry if I didn’t want to go out to party the night before I have to shoot a wedding, and I’m even more sorry if you read into the texts too much. I was just stating that I have a lot to concentrate on and I can’t party a few hours before a paying client is expecting me to take pictures of their special day. I told you that I was tired and I haven’t slept from the...
Breathe new life.
What I felt on Tuesday was invigorating. I haven’t felt that way in awhile. Maybe it was the atmosphere… the fresh smell of a newly constructed building, spring loaded bins that snap back when they should, and vital sign machines that actually read results properly. Maybe it was the lightning fast computer system, faster than my fingers could type. Heck, maybe it was even the brand new...
Don’t mistake my confidence for arrogance. I am proud of what I do, and I make a point to be humble about it. You guys have the gall to talk about me behind my back, but if you want to know the true meaning of arrogance, take a look at the girl who professes on multiple social medias that she has the best boyfriend and job ever, the man who firmly believes he is the final word in his...
Old habits never die
She promised to stop threatening to kill herself as a point of argument, and I believed her. She still does it to this day. “I swear I’m just going to drive this car off the roalKJDklsjdmsdm,sdmnf,sdn.” :’(
I really have a hard time letting go. My mind is telling me that I don’t deserve the occasional abuse and that there are plenty of other girls out there that may treat me better, but my heart is telling me to stay BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE HER TO DEATH. Oh the choices. If she only knew how much leverage she has over my feelings. Maybe she does, and maybe that’s why she can hurt me the...
I love her. Through thick and thin.
Some days we break the stones in our foundation, leaving a pile of rubble for us to repair. Other days, we apply mortar and adamantium to said foundation, stabilizing certain parts of our relationship, effectively making it harder for us to knock it down in the future. Maybe that’s a part of how this relationship is going to work out in the long haul. Some days you gotta scrap the old...
What do I do that impresses you? You don’t listen to me play music for more than a couple of minutes at a time. You don’t admire me when I take photos of abstract subjects, other people (and night skies, too). As a matter of fact, you get upset when the things I love to do take up the time you think I should be spending with you. You might not consciously do it, but I see you web...
One week in.
We made a promise to reduce the arguing throughout 2012. I was hopeful, but it looks like we couldn’t even last a week. Don’t bait me with your games, please. It’s one thing to understand and fully feel supportive of me IF I want to talk to my friends again, but it’s a totally different story if you proclaimed support ONLY to see if I’d say, “I don’t need...
What am I doing?
I felt free. Creative. Renewed. Drifting out of time. Something’s on your mind. And I wanna be the one that you call when you get down. No matter where you are in the world, I’ll be around. Fly me away on an aeroplane. High in the sky, wanna see you again. Wanna know this time, gonna tell you what I’m feeling. Gonna know this time, gonna get it back, that feeling. Miles and...
Jekyll and Hyde
Who am I talking to, you or your girlfriend? I still love you like a brother, but c’mon, if you don’t see how ridiculous all of this is, then I don’t know what to do. Help me help us. /genuinesadface
...and she is eternally envious.
As much as she’s on the verge of breaking up, I feel as if we’re already broken. There isn’t the possibility of a relationship if in the end she can’t accept who my friends are and makes it a glaring issue of debate when we argue. It’s simple really, have trust and get over your insecurities if you want a workable relationship. Otherwise, as much as you say that...
She is beauty
I’m not sure if she’s happy with the gift I got her, considering her cousins and sister all got some sort of Michael Kors/Marc Jacobs/Coach/whatever accessory. I know she wanted that chocolate colored Michael Kors watch, but I figured she’d get more use from a iPod Nano with a chic watch band. She wore it last night, but took it off a couple of times and put it in her bag. She...
If not now, then when? It baffles me how far disrespect can go and it saddens me when it’s done on purpose. A little acknowledgement is all it takes to show respect, which I’ve had for you until today. You make it a point to single me out despite the goodwill I have towards you. All I can amount it to is jealousy. Enough energy has been spent on regaining any sort of acknowledgment...
Here’s my situation… It doesn’t look as good as you. My minds over populated with overwhelming amounts of bad news. But once in awhile I get this feeling that you could change it all. And maybe it’s worth a try, but I could fall right back even harder… And I might die. Because when the pouring rain falls upon your pretty face, I could paint my entire world, turn it...
I haven’t felt this depressed since almost seven years ago. I didn’t know such pain could come from knowing that there is almost no hope for change. I didn’t think one girl could have so much control over the way I feel and the way I live. Seven years ago I was a Grade A pessimist, but when I first met her five years ago that changed as I saw the light at the end of the long,...
It’s the rage that blinds you. The fog that clouds your vision, your mind. It’s the very thing you say you’d try your best to work on, but somehow can’t because the frustration impairs your logical thinking. It’s being irrational. Your irrationality is so overwhelming sometimes that it becomes emotional abuse. If you really loved me, you’d realize that your...
So this is it, the final curtain call, my time here is over. I wish it was for good. This is goodbye, the final wave of hand, I wish I had the nerve to say I’m never coming back. It was a fight, I cried myself to sleep for so many nights. I can’t believe I’ve grown to be a boy with nothing to my name except a guitar and no one else to blame. But I hope you know I try, hope you...
I cannot sleep, thoughts of leaving.
I spent about 3k on this upcoming vacation for both me and her. I’m nervous because I might not even get to go on it. Ever since the 7th, she’s been helping me get through my problems. I’m glad that she is there for me and I’m really letting her know it by showing it to her when she’s with me. It feels good to have her in my arms and vice versa. Yeah I’m a...
Today you were born, and for that I am lucky. I know one day we will work out our differences and have a great future together. Happy birthday bb! I just realized… maybe the reason I’m not affectionate in person is because I’m affectionate on Tumblr. Ahahahah, you haven’t changed at all, Ephemeralreveries :D.
My life changed.
I am a wreck. My life is ruined. God help me. I need you right now.
It’s hard to type on a mobile phone without her seeing xD. Vegas was great. The company was top notch and the stash was perfect :D. This trip will probably go down in history as the BEST Vegas trip ever. Anyways, she looked amazing over the weekend. I know I should’ve told her that in person, but she got mad at me when I didn’t say it in time :(. Even though I don’t...
It feels like she’s starting to get more possessive over me. Lately she’s been getting upset for trivial things and I’m wondering if I’m really the problem. Or does she need to ease up and trust me more? Nevermind. One day all this trouble will worth the fruit at the end of the day. I’m working on getting her to see my side of things and at times it looks like...
Hardships and rocky seas.
Sometimes I wonder why we fight. I wonder what causes it and who’s to blame. Lately I’ve been taking a step back before I say something to see if I can avoid the argument, and sometimes it gets me heated beyond belief when she doesn’t do the same. But I keep trying. Know why? Because there isn’t a single person to blame when we get into an argument. It takes two...
Change starts now.
You deserve better, so I’m going to give you better. Know why? Because I love you.
For starters, I am a horrible boyfriend.
When I get upset, I get verbally abusive. At times, I can even get physical, letting anger get the best of me. I’d like to think I don’t do it on purpose, and that the ugly side of me only gets triggered by something that may be equally upsetting as my verbal and physical abuse. Maybe I’m right, but I know just as much as you do that being abusive in ANY form is intolerable...